How discovering I was trans* made me realize I wasn't straight

When I discovered I was genderqueer, I started making a big deal when people asked me if I was a girl or a boy (I still do). I complained about why it was so important to know someone's biological sex or gender. I wished people would base their opinions on me because of my personality and not because I was raised as a female-bodied person. If the love of my life, who I think is a guy, turned out to be a girl, I'm sure I'd still love her. So why does it matter? I was expecting other people to think this way, but I myself didn't follow my advice. I realised this and started ignoring gender as much as I could. Then I figured that it’s not about being gender-blind, but to accept all genders and not judge people on that. And that’s why I became to feel attraction to people independently of their gender. So I guess I’m pansexual, then.

How i figured out i was transgender

The first thing I ever knew about gender identity and such was when I found out that people could get a sex change. Disgusting, weird, silly, useless... were a few of my first reactions. Little did I know that in the future I'd be considering top surgery myself. Anyway, I had that opinion for many years, until I "met" Alexis, from Ugly Betty.

She became one of my favorite characters (along with Mark and Justin... I was destinied to belong in the LGBT) and from then on I didn't think it was that weird.
In class we studied feminism and gender, and the difference between sex and gender came out. During the class, I thought; "I could be a guy, then". I continued with my life without much more thought on that matter, but then I got addicted to Y!A (urgh...) and bumped into the LGBT section. I decided to look up on wikipedia the definition of LGBT and, when I realised, I knew a lot of terms and definitions related to that community (I love LGBT terms...). Once I discovered "genderqueer", I knew it had something to do with me.
When playing the 'girls vs boys' games at school I never knew what side I felt most comfortable with. That led me to sit in a corner alone and wish for people just to be people, and not girls or boys. I felt ashamed when I wished I could wear a suit to a wedding, but even more when I wished I could wear a dress. Why not a mix? Why not both? Why not wear the suit for half the time and then a dress for the rest? After two months of thinking about my gender, I arrived to the conclusion that I was/am moving between male, female and other genders, depending on my mood, situation or simply the day of the week.

Introduction time!

Hello. You can call me Peter. This is yet another blog about a trans* person's life. Just so you know, I identify as genderqueer, more specifically trigender.

Anyway, since I am probably the worst person at describing myself, I’ll just fill in one of those ‘basic information’ forms that are so cool.

- Sexual orientation: pansexual

- What I’m really bad at: Nothing! >:D

- A description of my self-esteem: Too high.

- Who my best friends are: Meh… I don’t really have any best friends. I don’t want any either.

- My favourite book: Harry Potter?

- My favourite animal: Seals! Then dolphins!

- Someone I miss: Nobody (my gransparents)

- What I did yesterday: I read (1Q84, by Murakami Haruki), then I went on my bike, I took some photos, I had my turn on the internet, I did my philosophy homework (no, I don’t study philosophy). I also ate a lot.

- My 5 favourite songs right now: ‘I’m reading a book’ by Julian Smith, ‘We are never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever getting back together’ by Taylor Swift, ‘Sunshine and Rain’ by The Icarus Account, ‘Happens in the dark’ by Jedward and ‘Rubber bands’ by Phineas and Ferb.

- All of the pets I’ve ever had: I had lots of goldfish (only one had a name though; Jack Sparrow) and a cat called Kitty. I had a budgy too, once.

- Favourite flavour of ice cream: Mint

 - What are my future plans? : I’m going to be rich…

-  An internal conflict I have with myself: I’m pretty much conflict-free.

- What I would do if I won the lottery: buy an underwater camera and a human-sized doll. And give some to charity.

- A description of the boy or girl I like: I’ve never been in love before

- What bands I’ve seen live: None. Too much people, too much noise.

- How many kids I want in the future: 51

- Most traumatic experience: Once they made me mow the lawn.

And, yeah. That's pretty much it. Anything you want to know just ask! :)